Further to the unfortunate discovery of a dead body in the Black Box on Friday last, the police would like to announce the opening of an investigation into the circumstances of death, if, indeed, death it is proved to be, as it were. In order to facilitate this investigation, we would like to urge the NIS community to put themselves, as it were, into the hands of Scotland Backyard’s finest, Inspector Hound.
The Inspector will be present, in person and in attendance, as it were, at NIS on Wednesday and Thursday of this week. Meanwhile, the Inspector urges the community not to be in the least worried – even though it seems that the killer is in our midst – and to take our minds off the matter by being on the lookout for a sinister and mysterious personage described as being of medium height and build, wearing a darkish suit and lightish shirt, and quite possibly behaving, or indeed acting, as a madman.
Further to this announcement, the Inspector has made a request for aid in identifying the as yet unclaimed dead body, described as longish, tallish and thinnish. Anyone who thinks they may know, or personally be acquainted with, a dead body that fits this description is politely, but not too politely, asked to be in attendance at the Black Box on Wednesday, 1st April and Thursday, 2nd April at 7pm precisely, when all, as is the manner of these things, will be revealed.